vain

Today I deleted every entry in the field “movies” of my Facebook account, followed by every other field for sharing my favorite books, TV shows, etc. All I left is a completely blank “Likes” page. I’m not sure if it will bring any change, but yet I did it hoping so. The reason is a mini-obsession I myself became aware not too long ago. On multiple occasions when I watched movies I had one expectation: “I hope this movie is good enough for me to like it, so I can add it to my favorite movies on Facebook”.

At times I feel uneasy and unhappy that I haven’t seen a plethora of highly praised and renowned movies, not to mention when a topic relevant to some movie pops up, I would feel distinguishingly better when able to immerse myself in it with ease.

What I was trying to accomplish is to see as many meaningful, original, well scripted movies, and not too many generic combat, superhero or supernatural movies such as “JIJOE: Rise of Cobra”, “Transformers”, “Twilight”, etc. For a short period of time I was well satisfied by seeing some brilliant and genuinely stunning productions, and the first thing I did after seeing the movie, was the action of “Like”-ing it on my Facebook “Movies” section.

The downside of following this procedure was developing the mini-obsession I mention in the beginning: whenever I was seeing a movie, I shortly found myself thinking “Oh sweet, this is probably going to my favorite-movies list”. I didn’t receive the whole pleasure of seeing the film, because there were expectations regarding its quality to be met, ridiculously set by myself. I suppose, it wouldn’t be incorrect to say I wanted to add them to my FB account in order to seem more profound and open-minded towards not so popular movies. I was so happy when I finished watching Charlie Chaplin’s Modern Times (which I truly liked), because it was a silent black and white movie, and usually those features aren’t ones that would appeal to most of my peers. Yet, the movie appealed quite strongly to me, and I felt compelled to share it with the miniscule number of potential people checking out my “Movies” section.

I want to see movies without expecting to add them to any public lists. I simply want to enjoy somebody’s creation, without spoiling the experience because of conceit. The root of this modest evil was the list I had created; therefore I deleted every single item in it. I don’t want to follow this pattern with the other lists, so I cleared them too. Admitting that I indulged in looking at how unique and unconventional stuff I had added to my favorites, I value genuinely liking things over contemplating them in a listed fashion.